I like knowing the answers. I like having an intelligent way to respond to the questions others ask when something in my life doesn’t make sense. I like having things all figured out….or at the very least feeling like I do. But sometimes I find myself in a place where I am forced to admit that I don’t understand all the whys of why things happen the way they do and why God allows the course of our life to change without showing us the whole picture and laying out directions for the whole path in front of us.
I wish I understood everything, I wish I could say I’ve seen the blueprints for my life and I know exactly what’s around the bend, and exactly which steps to take next. But I don’t. I wince as I’ve listened to myself say others recently, “I have no idea.” But then I realize that to say anything different would be a lie.
The truth is I don’t know all the answers, I get confused, I even feel a bit like I’m lost out on a huge turbulent sea praying that my Heavenly Father sees me, knows I’m in over my head, and in His mercy already has plans in the works to throw down a lifeline I can grab on to and lead me to a safe place of refuge He has already prepared.
One thing my heart rests in is that God is not like us. Nothing, and I do mean NOTHING in our lives takes Him by surprise. He redeemed us knowing in advance that we would fail, dissapoint, walk away, and in our human foolishness get our own selves in huge messes.
But He loved us anyway! And we can rest assured that before it ever even happened, before we ever attempted to screw everything up, He had already decided He would redeem the wreckage of our lives and He already had a plan in place to turn around mess we’ve made for His glory and His own purpose.
So, it’s okay to throw up our hands; or if you’re like me wave your arms ferociously in surrender and admit that most of life is bigger than us. In fact, it’s a beautiful place to be. Because when we admit that we don’t have it all together, and we don’t have all the answers, we are admitting that He does. We acknowledge that we have no choice but to relinquish control to Him if we want life to work. Maybe that’s the point of it all.