It’s amazing how it doesn’t matter who we are….or aren’t for that matter. Humanity’s natural tendency is to believe ourselves to be better than what we actually are. To believe that we can, and should make things in life happen for ourselves. Being a “self-made” person (whatever that really means) is what our culture screams at us to be. It’s all in Hollywood, the media, school systems and sadly, even the Christian heart.

The American dream, financial security, status and success all appeal and feel so good to us. Dangerously good. So easily I have found myself caught up in all of it. Chasing after “the good life.” Always reaching for something better, for something more. Then I become disappointed to discover that more is never enough.

Pride. Greed. Success.

They are all like beautiful mirages in the desert – thirsting after them, I’ve run towards them believing they would satisfy and fill me up. Instead, the pursuit…and even some attainment of these things leave me even more empty than I was before.

Pride. The monumentous canyon between who I believe myself to be and who I really am lies to my heart and my common sense and causes me to believe I am above things that I am not. That I am stronger than I really am. That I can do it on my own. That I deserve things that were never mine to have. And that I can live like I want, all the while living above the consequences.

It whispers sweetly in my ear, “After all Rachel, you deserve to be and do what makes you happy.

It is a trap, laid out for me by the enemy to ensure that I never actually get over myself enough to truly abide in Christ. That my heart believes that it is, but is never really surrendered and given over to Him. Because I’m a Christan I say I trust in God completely, but if my life doesn’t work out the way I wanted it to with Him in charge, my plan B… me.

Pride deceives. Pride ensnares. Pride numbs. Pride destroys. Ultimately, it completely severs my heart from the God I had committed to love and leaves me wide open to the attacks of the enemy in my life.

It’s not worth it. The price is far too high to just go on believing I’m someone I’m not.

February 9, 2011

I took care of you in the wilderness, in that dry and thirsty land. But when you had eaten and were satisfied, you became proud and forgot me. So now, come back to your God. Act with love and justice, and always depend on Him. ~ Hosea 12:13, 13:6