You know the type who always say “yes” to almost any and everything? To every need, opportunity, every Facebook event or cause…. all while juggling normal life, work and family. Everyone watches in disbelief wondering how on earth they pull it all off so well?
Let me just say that more than likely, they don’t. Something, somewhere is suffering when we can’t find the balance between yes and no. I can say this with assurance because some time ago, I used to be one of them.
Until I realized that I was spread way too thin, parts of my life were suffering, and inside my heart was becoming resentful as I was saying “yes” to many good things, but for all the wrong reasons.
I think it’s important to find a healthy balance between knowing when to say “yes” and when to say “no.” Both are necessary at times, yet some of us struggle with finding our balance between the two.
Here’s just a few of my thoughts on when it’s okay and good not to pass up an opportunity-
It’s okay to say “Yes” when:
- We are genuinely doing it out of a heart of love NOT obligation.
- We are able to do it purely to meet a need for another…..not using another’s need to fill up our own emptiness.
- We aren’t giving out of ourselves because we are seeking approval or reward.
- We aren’t already functioning on overload.
- It doesn’t create a deficit at home in our family life.
- We aren’t doing it to be seen or loved.
- We haven’t been manipulated by others into feeling like we should.
- Our motives and intentions are pure.
- We say “yes” when our gut is telling us we shouldn’t.
- When we aren’t secretly pining for position or prestige.
It has been my own experience that when I say “yes” to whatever it may be for any of those reasons, everything I do becomes half-hearted and insincere and will probably eventually flop anyway. It’s then that my heart and mind begin their slow decent into resentment, burnout and bitterness. Trust me, it’s a place you don’t want to go to.
So the next time an opportunity arises to do something good – before my hand goes flying up and my internal voice screams out “ME, ME. I’LL DO IT!” Maybe I should go down my own little checklist to help myself be sure my own intentions and heart are in line with my actions and my eagerness to say “Yes!”
It’s just using a little wisdom to keep priorities in order. We might even thank ourselves later.