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“You cannot love with a divided heart.”

I honestly don’t remember where I read these words, but some time ago I read them, and they pierced my heart…. In a good kind of way. The kind in which it was a truth my life needed.

As women in this busy world it is all too easy for our hearts to become so divided or consumed by other things (or people) that our husbands end up with nothing but tiny fragments of the heart that was meant to be for him.

There are times in my marriage that I don’t feel in love with my husband. Honestly, there have been times that I questioned how much I even really loved him at all. It’s in those times that it becomes easiest to pick apart who he is or blame my own lack of love for him on his flaws and failures. But if I really get honest with myself and look closer, it’s usually in those times that I don’t feel the love for him I know should be there, that it’s because I’ve chosen “other” lovers over him.

God has been teaching me that there is more than one way to cheat on my husband.

  • Kids
  • Work
  • Friendships
  • Humanitarian endeavors
  • Ministry
  • “Me time”
  • Other relationships

Those are the good things that threaten my marriage the most. They are all worthy causes but even they become sin the moment they sneak in and start to take over my heart. And I end up using the good things of life to deceive myself and others that what I’m allowing is okay. When any one of those things gets more of me than the man I live with – the one I stood in front of God promising all of my heart to

my heart is divided

I’m left with little to nothing to give him

and I set us both up for the biggest failures of our lives.

Let’s face it, the man God gave me isn’t perfect. He certainly doesn’t always do or say what I think he should and sometimes things he does (or doesn’t do) plain out ticks me off.  But Everytime I start to not feel so “in love” with him, instead of blaming my feelings on him, I start taking inventory of my own heart and who or what else I’ve been giving it away to. Almost every time I will find that it’s not because he is unworthy or not enough

 it’s because my heart is divided and I am cheating on him with other lovers.

But I have been so amazed at how my heart starts to change and how my love for him overwhelms us both when I make the decision to place everything else in my life behind him and make him the one top priority in my life. It is then that I truly become wholly and

 exclusively his.