I laid beside him in the dark as he slept and studied the masculine contours of his face; laid my head on his chest and felt it rise and fall with each breath.
I listened to the beat of his heart and allowed my mind to entertain the sacredness of each soft, slow, faithful beat that keeps him with me.
There were no smiles, laughter, noise or words between us. Only an abundance of memories of all of the times we’ve shared. The memories of the journey of two kids growing together into two adults were bitter at moments
mostly they were sweet.
In the quiet, thoughts of all that he has given my life rushed in.
Happy times. A home. A family. Love like I’ve never known.
And I realized just how much I fail to see all that I have been given in this one man.
Because I am too busy waiting for my life to be better; more than I’d like to admit I completely fail to see what it already is. Because I am not content, I wait for him to be more than exactly who he is right now.
In all of of his amazing wonderfulness.
In all of his imperfection.
But in that moment I was learning that our lives don’t consist of the name we’ve created for ourselves, the things we have or even lack. How full and sweet our lives are, are dependant on our ability to realize what we already have.
True gratitude turns what we have into enough.
I’ve always known that I have a good man. But in that quiet moment alone in the dark with him as he slept, I stopped long enough to delight in him – to let my heart bathe in the beautiful truth of how undeservedly full and blessed my life is
Because his love is mine……
and I won’t miss out on it because I chose not to see it.