Dear ______________ ,

Honestly, at what point did this culture we live in lead you to believe that you have to have life all figured out by the age of twenty-one….. or so? I am coming across more and more young adults just like you starting out their adult lives already feeling like a failure because they don’t exactly know what they are supposed to do with their life and are distraught over the fact that they don’t even come close to having it all figured out. Sound like anyone you know?

Seriously, how did this happen? Who THE. HECK. sold you the lie that this is even usually possible?

I can say, from my own experience as a twenty-eight year old wife and mom, that I’m still trying to figure out who I even am and definitely don’t yet have my mind wrapped around figuring out life.

It’s hard. Life is hard.

And lest you believe I’m just being negative, I WISH someone had explained all this to me when I was, oh about sixteen or so. I would have spent so much less time fretting over what I had still yet failed to understand.

You know, sometimes I think you just need to give yourself permission to NOT have things all figured out. Of course, not to use that as an excuse to stop learning, growing and reaching for more; but as a way to sort of let yourself off the hook from having to be and know what I’m finding out it takes years of living and maturing to attain.

Honestly, I think you somehow feel pressured into making major, life-altering decisions way too early on. And the weight of that pressure becomes too much, fear takes over and paralyzes any good, common sense you might have mustered up.

So to any of who you might be interested, here’s a condensed list of some of the things I’ve learned over the past 10 years of my own life:

  1. Give yourself time to discover yourself for a while and be okay with just that, before jumping ahead blindly into the rest of your life.
  2. Following #1 is how to live without looking back when you’re 30, wishing there was so much you would have done differently.
  3. Don’t live to please others…… it never really works out that way in the end.
  4. Live life on purpose – not leaving fate of the rest of your life up to chance or just hoping that things work out for the best. Successful people don’t just happen.
  5. Don’t even waste your tears over the fact that you have NO clue what the heck you’re gonna do with your life when you’re 19. 2% of the population actually accomplish this. 😉
  6. Don’t be in such a darn hurry to grow up.
  7. Enjoy being young…..It goes by way too fast.
  8. Don’t rush falling in love. Let it come softly, and in the right time
  9. Don’t depend on another human being to complete you or make you happy.
  10. Learn from your mistakes – don’t waste emotional energy on regret.
  11. Find something bigger than yourself to believe in and be a part of.
  12. Be intentional about being selfless.
  13. Dream big dreams, and if someone tells you they are impossible, all the more reason to prove them wrong.
  14. Be a person of faith.
  15. Be passionate about things you love and believe.
  16. Live a good life. A good life consists of rich relationships…. not stuff.
  17. Indulge in simple pleasures. Like a cup of coffee with a friend, a walk in nature, silence, alone time, and the feeling of laying in fresh sheets.
  18. Disconnect from and keep your distance from negative, judgmental people….they will suck the wind right out of your sails.
  19. Be intentional about finding and forming relationships with older, successful, wise mentors. A good mentor can change the course of your entire life.
  20. Discover exactly who you were created to be – and what you were made to do with your live will naturally come out of the discovery of who you already are.

It is my desire that something I’ve said lifts the weight off your shoulders a bit and helps you breathe a little easier. Enjoy life, and don’t sweat the small stuff!