One thing that I’ve realized is that it is so easy to get so caught up in the normal rhythm of day to day life of working, raising a family, taking care of a home and paying bills that next thing I know, those things are about all I’m managing to accomplish. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with the daily routine of survival that I haven’t left any space for anything more – anything of eternal value.
A few months back one night on the edge of our bed, through tears, I remember expressing to my husband my disappointment with a life that’s filled with nothing outside of work, earthly success & things. My exact words to him were these, “I am so grateful for the life we have and I know how blessed we are. But I just feel like if this is all there is to life, It’s monumentally disappointing. In all of our accomplishments, I just feel still there is something more that I’m missing out on and I’m not okay with that.”
And since that night of honesty with my husband, life has and will continue to rush on. And sometimes it’s moving so fast I feel like I don’t have time to breathe, much less invest in anything else. Even with that realization that there IS more, still I tend to forget what it is I’m really supposed to be pursuing.
And the human tendency to fill up all my time and my life with cheap substitutes for the things that really matter is always something I wrestle with.
In all of the accomplishing, in all of the doing, in all of the building a life, a name, a retirement fund – still, satisfaction never really comes.
This morning I received this text from my husband
Proverbs 19:17 says, ” A man that lends to the poor will be repaid by God.” I really believe that this is why we have found ourselves at the place we are at. Baby, doing the things that matter eternally is where life is found. So don’t lose focus of those things that matter for other things that don’t. I don’t ever want our family to lose focus of what God’s bigger plan for our lives are.
Once again I am reminded, through the kind wisdom of my husband that life is not found in what we spend most of our lives toiling away at.
On Thursday morning at 9 am, I won’t miss serving the homeless with Love Project because it isn’t convenient, doesn’t fit in my schedule or gets in the way of making a living. I will be there, and I will serve and love the outcast whom many wouldn’t bother with. Because as insignificant and unglamorous as it may seem, that is what matters.
That is the more in life.
Sure, we all need jobs and things to survive. But investing in people and the Kingdom of Heaven are the only things that will be left standing when all the stubble and chaff of life has been burned away. And giving our lives away is the only place true fullfillment is to be found.
I’m not okay with giving my entire life away for things that won’t matter in the end. Because this nagging discontentment in the bottom of my heart constantly reminds me of one sure thing
there is more….
And I was designed to find it.