Dawn breaks, early light bursts forth and the morning sun floods my own little sacred space with light. Opening my eyes, I realize the other side of my bed isn’t the same as when I fell asleep last night. Not empty, it is filled up with little creatures of all sorts, causing me to realize exactly why it was I was forced to sleep on only a tiny sliver of bed all night.
I lay there face to face with messy hair, fair skin and freckles. And smile as I feel my heart fill up with warmth. My eyes linger there, taking in every contour of the sweet, ever changing faces of the babies I have loved. A bittersweet moment of reflecting on the swiftness of time gone by and the promise of a future yet to come.
Yet still, in this small space of time I live one of the purest moments of joy motherhood holds. Few things are as wholly satisfying as these kinds of moments. Of this I am sure.
As I feel complete peace and contentment set in, I feel my heart embracing a kind of life not mapped out by myself, but one I have chosen to live out. A calling into a more simple kind of life. One in which I willingly return, back to the basics.
Choosing to thrive and fully live amidst the daily collage of messes to be cleaned, little arguments to be mediated, library books to be returned, meals to be prepared, lessons to be taught, random kisses and snuggles to give away …and received back again.
It is in these seemingly insignificant moments that something magical happens. I come face to face with the very essence of life and nurturing little souls. And motherhood becomes about so much more to me than just reoccurring daily tasks and years to be survived.
It becomes a precious gift.
A sacred calling not for the faint of heart.
One that gives every mother the freedom to choose between muddling through resentfully or embracing the beauty and joy it holds within.
Still, some days my head tells me I’ve lost my mind, but my heart reminds me they are worth every struggle. What we all gain is so much bigger than the small, less important things I may choose to lay aside for a time.
Contrary to what society has told me (and almost convinced me of) I do not lose myself amidst the years of loving and giving them the very best of myself. In this sacred place of motherhood, I find myself. The very best of a woman fully embracing the first calling of her life, seeing where it may lead.
Motherhood – while not the easy path, is the one for me that leads to sweet peace and a purpose fulfilled. I am freeing myself from the current of society and starting a Women’s Liberation Movement of my very own of sorts. One that is not bound to having to prove anything to a waiting world, and little to compete for my attention or divide my heart.
The world can wait.
My whole heart chooses to linger a while and embrace the beauty found here.
For it will not be with me always.