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If we are honest, most of us could admit that we have seen more than one Facebook status or tweet that we are positive was written and posted just for/about us.

You know the feeling?

Someone posts a status on FB about of which we are sure was cleverly and meticulously plotted out regarding something we secretly know we have been guilty of and viola! We have publicly been called out and embarrassed. We feel our blood pressure skyrocket and just like that we have been thoroughly offended!

I mean seriously? THE NERVE of some people! ūüėČ

Our next tendency displays the shallow state of our hearts even more when we hit that next little button..

{UNFRIEND!}

or at the very least, every fiber of our being wants to.

This used to happen to me more times than I care to admit. Usually by someone in which I assumed their critical comment was referring to me- because well, if the shoe fits, wear it!

And I did! I WORE their words.

And they hurt, and they were heavy and crushing and kept my spirit so offended and and drug down.

But in that very moment, something even deeper had happened. I had allowed myself to become victim of the destructive power of:

as·sump·tion

noun
1. something taken for granted; a supposition: a correct assumption. Synonyms: presupposition; hypothesis,conjecture, guess, postulate, theory.

2. the act of taking for granted or supposing.
3. the act of taking to or upon oneself. 
4 .the act of taking possession of something: the assumption of power.
5. arrogance; presumption.

First comes assumption, then comes offense: and in .075 seconds we have erected a concrete wall around ourself, slammed and dead bolted the iron gate – blocking anyone with anything of value to add to our lives, out!

When we assume¬†that someone’s actions or words were intentionally done/said to hurt or point the finger at us, we ourselves have become guilty of two very dangerous and arrogant things.

  1. We have in essence made the statement that we know their heart and the motive behind their action/words. And have assumed that they were to harm us.
  2. As the 3rd definition of assumption states: we have just voluntarily shouldered guilt and condemnation. Neither of which come from Christ.

So much about assumption and the choice of whether or not be be offended is all about perspective.

When we believe that the world revolves around US, we then believe that the actions and words of everyone around us are directed at us and we are easily offended.

Yet, when we realize that 99.9% of the time, people aren’t sitting behind their computer screens figuring out ways to condemn and embarrass the crap out of us publicly, because people actually have LIVES and experiences of their own. When that happens, we have changed our perspective and we begin to mature a bit in our thinking and feelings towards others.

It COULD be that more times than not, people really are speaking out of their own personal revelations or life experiences. Just MAYBE, there motive is not to condemn or point fingers at anyone, but out of a pure heart they simply desired to put something out there that they’ve realized for themselves and just want to share with others!

Assumptions are nothing more than something we believe to be true. KNOWING is so much more defined that assuming.

When we are self-absorbed, we assume everything negative is about us. We then become the offended who wear our offense just as if we had a bill-board strapped to us with flashing lights screaming to the rest of the world: “I AM OFFENDED!!! FEEL SORRY FOR MEEEEEEE!”

As much as I enjoy the benefits of social media; I don’t know, maybe it’s a far fetched idea, but I believe this face to face, person to person interaction thing is one worth giving a shot. And I feel that Facebook, Twitter and other social media venues are screwing with the definition of healthy relationships and are making us a numb, lonely, completely dysfunctional society. {that’s a whole ‘nother blog post.}

So I would offer to us all, that next time we are tempted to assume the worst about another person, that we instead act our age and simply call them up and kindly say, “Hey! Can we go for coffee? I have something I’d really like to ask you about.”

I’ve learned, that the things you end up discovering about another person when you take the time to actually sit across from them face to face are SHOCKINGLY positive and reassuring.

It COULD even salvage precious relationships with real people, who are sitting behind a computer screen “throwing darts at you.” But ones that you just may find out truly love, cares about, and want the very best for your life.

As we follow Jesus, may we truly be a people who are about loving people. And who are completely unoffendable because we avoid assumption at all cost.

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